If You're Bored...If Youre Bored
-Rob a candy store with a water pistol-Go to a forum and pick a fight with someone on the other side of the world.-Spread rumors about Hitler-Eat fried race cars-Make up jokes that make absolutely no sense-Throw sheet metal off a skyscraper roof-Superglue coins to someones face while theyre sleeping-Frisbee DVDs at your neighbors cat-While handling guns, ask someone where the antidepressants are-Poke an electric fence-Cut your lawn with a pair of scissors-Buy 27 hamsters and keep them in your bathtub-Sticky tape anchovies and cheese under peoples desks-Sell a $100 bill for $20-Make an If Youre Bored
Edward is a creepEdward Cullen: Hello HarryHarry Potter: ...HiEdward Cullen: Ugh! Ur smell... its so... intoxicatingHarry Potter: What?Edward Cullen: I must resist this temptation... to bite... a pillow...Harry Potter: Umm... I'm just going to leave...Edward Cullen: No wait! Dont leave! I cant live without you.Harry Potter: ...Edward Cullen: Although I cant live without you, I must leave you. Forget about me, my love.Harry Potter: Thank God.Edward Cullen: I am back! Our love knows no bounds! Now kiss my cold, stony, half-dead lips and we will make mutant children.Harry Potter: What the hell! I thought I got rid of you!Edward Cullen: Kiss me, foolish mortal. You are stupid for loving me. Our marriage awaits. Come now, Harry, and-Harry Potter: MARRIAGE?! O HELLZ NO. AVADA KEDAVRA, BIYATCH!!Edward Cullen: Ack! My beautiful, sparkly skin! Nooooo! But I still love you *dies*Harry Potter: F***ing Stephanie Meyer...Bella Swan: Hi sexy.Harry Potter: Oh god...
BoredI'm sitting at home, once againWondering if this day will ever endI've done all the housework, I have no more choresAnd I'm starting to realize my life is a boreI've vacuumed the carpets, I've washed all the floorsI've dusted the shelves, and I've cleaned the glass doorsThe cats have been combed, the toys put awaySeriously God, will there be an end to this day?I've done all the laundry for the entire homeI've sewn all the things that need to be sewnAll the trash it out, not a stray paper in sightAnd all the dishes have been put away for the nightMother has no needs, she's resting in her chairAnd the rest of the house looks incredibly bareAnd as I sit down and plug in the computer coredI realize in my head, I'm incredibly bored